Observation #12 - Hybrid Cars

I want to be clear up front, if you drive a hybrid car I really don't care. Have you ever heard of a hybrid anything being a good thing? If you were going in for a heart transplant would you want a hybrid replacement heart, I wouldn't. I am not impressed so you don't have to put all kinds of emblems, initials and logos on your car telling me it's a hybrid, again don't care.

I saw a Honda Civic today that said NGV on the side on the car. I was told that it meant Natural Gas Vehicle..... Well Woo Freakin' Hoo. I'm going to put FFGG on the side of my Vette and make sure everyone with a hybrid car knows it means Fossil Fuel Gas Guzzler. I'm using my share of Fossil fuels now, let the next generation worry about what they're going to power their cars with, I'll be dead and on my way to becoming a Fossil fuel myself so I won't care.

It was once pointed out to me while fueling my Vette by the driver of a Toyota Prius that I was being hard on our Fossil fuels. Last time I checked Fossils were all dead, they don't care what I drive. Let's look at the basics, electric hybrid cars need to be recharged with electricity. 75% of our electricity is made by coal fired power plants. Coal is what, a Fossil fuel so get off your high horse.

One last thing, why can't they build a decent looking electric hybrid, they all look like eggs and who wants to drive an egg?

Observation # 11 - Spoons

I can prove that women lose things more than men with the cunning use of spoons. First I need to make a disclaimer, your home must be a proper control group meaning you can't have kids as they will eventually lose everything at least once.

We men tend to use the larger spoon, I would call it by it's proper name but as a man I only know kitchen utensils by description, hence the big spoons. Women tend to use the small spoons by nature. Why is obvious, men have big mouths and women want to believe they don't.

Go ahead an look in your silverware drawer and I bet you'll find more big spoons than small spoons, therefore we can deduce that women loose them as they use them by nature meaning that women lose things more often.

I hope everyone appreciates my clearing this up..............

Observation # 10 - Salads

I have trained myself to order salads when I go out with my wife. It took years to discard the lifetime habit of burgers, ribs and other fatty, but great tasting food. Here I thought I was doing a good thing and now I read that some of my favorite restaurant salads are through the roof at some of my favorite places. Geez, what's a guy to do? Some of these salads have over 1,500 calories, any idea how many burgers I could snarf down for that? It would certainly be a much more enjoyable experience.

I think they should put a disclaimer on these salads like they do cigarettes. Something like "eating this salad can be hazardous to your health not to mention your taste buds". The irony of this is that now instead being hooked on burgers, ribs and other great fatty things, I'm hooked on these artery blocking salads.

I wonder how many calories and how much fat is in carrot cake?